Been a way, but back now. Yay! That is a summary of it, details later. Onto the real topic of today; the blurred and twisted vision of ours. The blurred is a funny one; drink too much and everything is pretty and fuckable…yup, totally a story for another time. But. The glasses we put on, whether sober or not do change how we see and experience things – just like sunglasses do.
Here is a black and white, slightly exaggerated, take on it; grow up in a happy loving hippie home and you believe everyone is good. Grow up in a fucked up home with abuse and everyone is an enemy. Add on it; life experiences that can move you from one end to another or just add to the strength of your love or hate of humankind. And our glasses? That’s what we take from it. If we’ve only seen love and happiness we expect and see it around. If we’ve only seen hate and abuse, that is what we see and expect. Every word, a look, an action, from another person will be colored with our vision and expectations; the color of our glasses.
And so we do what? React. With our glasses attached. Sure. Sometimes it’s accurate; love should be met with love, and hate? Better do take a strong resistant pose and action on anyone aimed at hurting you. But what if, when, we are wrong? When our glasses have colored, categorized something as something it is not?
I had a fight with my brother the other night on whatsapp. I was fuming; this fucker never took my side, doesn’t care about me, was never there for me. I couldn’t sleep for two nights as I was re-playing the conversation and the words he used in my head. I was ready to tell him to fuck off, to forget me as he clearly already had. …It was the other night…I had two nights to ponder and hate and fume about it – until today; I checked the messages; to see just how right I was. …and was I? Right? Couple of reads over and a strong, painful look in the mirror I could see I was the one doing most of attacking. Was he apologizing or promising he will do better? No. But was he the asshole I had gone into the discussion thinking he would be? No. Was it still bad? Yes. That bad? No.
Those glasses. The fucking glasses. …not talking about you hippies, your glasses seem great. Well, you could really use a good sense of reality in you! No one is that happy! …nope, sorry, that is my glasses speaking…my glasses are of doom and gloom. And I need to change that. Or, well, I need to remember to take my glasses off sometimes. There is time for doom and gloom, but. Maybe there is time for other things as well? The glasses we wear will shape and color how we go about things; sometimes good, sometimes bad. Taking off the glasses, at least for a second every once in a while, as hard as it might be, could show us other colors too, the diamonds that could be…could let us think others too…Time and space and clubs of it all. …clubs…get it? Lol…sorry (my gaming sunnies on now).